2. Learn to say it well. Once you got the information on the awareness and the understanding and knowledge now the key is to know how to translate it into emotions, filings, phrases, paragraphs.
- Repetition. It takes practice to learn a new skill, you must go again and again and again. Keep at it and keep at it and you´ll get better. Its simple, do it a thousand times and you inevitably do it well. Repetition with purpose, the purpose is to grow, to change, to develop, to expand, to make progress.
- Sincerity from the heart, with noble intent, wishing to bring value. There is no substitute for sincerity. I can forgive you for an error in judgement, but I can’t forgive you for an error in intent.
- Brevity. You can linger too long on any one point. Tell short stories. People forgot how you started, the human attention spam is short, practice on the kids because their attention spam is really short. Get it to the point. Be brief and affective. Sometimes we try to make up in words what we lack in self-confidence. So, part of the key to be brief is personal development, understanding self-worth, now you can use the economy of words. That what you are add so much weight to what you say that you don’t have to say very much
- Style. Body language, gestures, facial expressions, emotion. Its not only the matter you cover, it’s the manner in which you cover the matter. It is important to emphasize the point. Become a student of stile. Borrow bits and pieces to make your own distinctive style. Become uniquely you.
- Vocabulary. Saying it well, use the proper choice of words. There is a relationship between vocabulary and behavior. The more limited the vocabulary the more tendency to poor behavior. Vocabulary is a way of seeing, the vocabulary is to see the images that comes to our minds, if we have a poor set of vocabulary, skills and tools to interpret, you can imagine the errors in judgement. If you can’t see well you can imagine the errors you can make in how they compound their life. We do 2 things with vocabulary, we interpret, and we express. If you can’t interpret and express well you can imagine what a turn it is to your life, to the extra treasures, the extra feelings, awareness, influence. The dictionary is a good book to have in your library
- Don’t forget to say it. Practice the art every chance you have. Its easy not to practice but you will regret the lack of practicing it every day for when the real important occasions arrive you have the gift, the clarity, the substance and the emotions. Actions are no substitute for words, don’t fail to say it. Words are not substitute for action, neither extreme ways are good. Is good to send flowers but don’t let flower talk, flowers have a limited vocabulary. Use language to affect people, to translate feelings of hearth and mind. Take the extra time to engage in this art and practices.
3.Read your audience. Pick up the signals. Learn to watch and see what is happening. If you want to be affective you got to get the feedback, to pick up the signals.
- Part of reading is listening. Pick of a lot of clues about what they say.
- Read what you see. How to read a person like a book – Nuremberg. Good book. Body language. Don’t mistake courtesy for consent. Don’t mistake kindness for acceptance. We learn in society to be kind, but that doesn’t mean we have to accept it.
- Reading the emotional signals. Women have advantage in here. Be sharper or softer. Be sensitive to the situation. Is summit learning. How are you coming across?
4. Intensity. Here starts the power of what we say. Part of the strength is the words we choose, the greater part of the strength of what we say is the emotions that are loaded into the words. There is no greater power than words loaded with emotion. Real persuasion comes from putting you into what you say. Learning to measure your emotions is very important. You don’t shoot a cannon to a rabbit. It´s effective but there is no more rabbit. You don’t need an atomic explosion for a minor point. Enough but not too much. All your experiences and how they affected you, that is the total sum of your emotional content. The key is well chosen words mixed with well-chosen emotions.