To be Obsessed about being better or superior only helps to remind us continually what we do not have. If we obsess about looking in the mirror and doing what the self-help gurus tell us, "repeat that you deserve to have money, have a car, that figure, those abs, that life you dream of" we are reminding ourselves of what we do not have , what we should have been but we are not. A person who is already happy does not need to look in the mirror and say he is happy. He simply is.
You are happy, or you are not. Do not try to be something that you are not.
This does not mean that 'affirmations' do not work. Maybe for you, yes, and that's fine. But there is another way to live a good life and be happy, a different approach.
The key to a good life is to give a fuck about having more. It's just you giving a fuck about having less. Worry about those matters that are important to you and give a fuck to anything else.
The quickly summaryize is to CHOOSE what you care about.
- Happiness is not an equation that can be solved.
Having X will not automsatically make you happy. Being like Y person will not make you happy.
Happiness is a process, and you learn to be happy on the road. Not in the destination, NOT in the goal.
Choose to enjoy life on daily basis. That is the path of maximum happiness. If you live your life going Monday through Friday and yearning for the weekend to come, you are not living a full life. And you know it.
We have become a generation that believe we have the right to enjoy great things, but without dedicating effort to it.
You pretend to be great, famous, to be like that person you admire on Instagram ... but you do not want to work for it. You think you deserve to be and have all that good stuff without working. And if you get it, it was what must happen logically ... and if you do not get it, it is because of external factors that have prevented it.
Remember that any path you choose, there will be problems. Choose the problems you want to work on.
- What is the purpose of that much suffering in life?
Everyone has their own purposes. You are like an onion with many layers. Peel the onion making three layers of questions that allow you to discover:
- Your emotions
- The why of your emotions
- How do you value and measure your emotions
Discard the values that do not really add to your growth (pleasure, material success, always be right, try to be 100% of the time) and be aware and implant in your life values that allow you to grow: honesty, innovation, vulnerability, responsibility, curiosity, humility, creativity ...
- 5 values that are worth cultivating:
1. Responsibility: no one is guilty of your situation. You choose how you feel and what to do to solve it.
2. Live with uncertainty: put in doubt everything that you have been told or that you have learned. Living in that constant uncertainty is what will allow you to think about new ways of doing things, to grow and improve, and to do only what you really care about.
3. Failure is part of the road to success: you should not be afraid to act in case that leads to failure. Taking action will generate inspiration, inspiration will generate motivation, and that motivation will give you the strength to start new actions. It is a feedback loop that allows you to grow.
4. Cultivate rejection: we must stop being hypocrites and tell lies that do not express what we really think. Define your X, what you really care ... and say no to everything that is not aligned with what you really want and care about.
5. Contemplate your own mortality: Don´t allow fear of death cause you to focus on creating immortality projects that will last after your death. Take care to live life at 110% instead of thinking about leaving a legacy. It will allow you to lead a fuller and more memorable life for you and those around you.